Practice was practice this week; I’ve been trying not to label it ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Some things that I have been working through are letting go of my expectations and grounding my focus in gratitude. I really am so so grateful for the opportunity to practice, but it is easy for me to get so caught up in making progress that I forget to appreciate where I am.
My teacher asked me on Tuesday to try the next pose in the Intermediate Series, which is Dwi Pada Sirsasana. I was happy that she felt I was ready to try it, but after attempting it, we ultimately decided together that I am not ready. And I feel good about that. I feel that my ability to accept that I am not ready for this posture reflects the lesson I have learned in the posture I am currently working on, Eka Pada Sirsasana. Mostly… I’ve learned patience. In the past, I have yearned for more poses, which reflected immaturity. This new-found patience has solidified my trust in my teacher & the beautiful unfolding process that is this practice.
On Friday, as my teacher approached my mat to help me with Mysore drop-backs, she asked me if I wanted her to help me catch my ankles. I said no because I had been feeling quite stiff and clumsy all week. But then, after the third round of what felt like some of my smoothest Mysore drop-backs ever, we both looked at each other and said “catch.” It just felt right. After catching my ankles and holding for five deep breaths, I had to sit down and cry a few joyful tears because I am just so grateful to have a teacher whom I trust so much, who knows exactly what my body can handle.
This week, the abundance of breath that filled our Mysore room served as a daily reminder to me of all of the wonderful people and opportunities that currently fill my life. I am so, so grateful.